En memoria de Rolando Felix Armendariz
... And everytime I try to type "felix", Rolando's last name, the word "feliz" happy seems to type itself. This is very congruent with Rolando's life: he got to be a happy person. He once told me about a japanesse student that asked him about his personality, and Rolando told him: "I am gay", the student checked in his translation machine and asked Rolando: "are you happy?" and Rolando replied: "Yes, very, but I am also homosexual". And that is how Rolando lived his life. He had no problem accepting he was gay (I remember he once said regarding a book about gays: "justifications not!"). He just did not need a justification for his unique way of being. And it was way more than just being gay, it was about having the courage to be what you are, way more, to know what you are.
I remeber a linguist once told me he did not like Rolando because he believed Rolando to be "very self-centered", but what else can you be when you grow up in a little town where gays were thown rocks and get hurt just for being different? how else can you be when you are a sensitive guy that shivers with Roberto Carlos' songs and have no one to share it with?
He was a dovoted person to his proyects: his marriage with me (lucky me!), his careers: he went from m.d. to fashion designer and then to linguist. And he was devoted to every season of his life. I met him in the last passion of his life: linguistics.
But I also was one lucky finding for him, just as much as he was for me. We feel connected from the first day we met. If I now look for a word to describe our love, there's only one: natural. He let me enter into his world "his infinitum particular" and it was the trip of my life. Once inside, it is hard to leave Rolando's world; it is even harder to want to leave that world: his mother, Quetechehueca, the stars lighting the sky that was supossed to be dark, the music, the flowers, the poems, his movements when dancing, his look (how handsome!), his love for life...
It is so hard to know he is not with us anymore... but tonight I learned something: He is with us, specially with me, I will not let him die. He is just a part of me. It would be like killing myself, and he thought me to enjoy life: no matter how hard it seems: we are alive, damn it! I will live every minute of what is left of my life, and wait for him to come for me when the time comes....
my soulmate: I tell you this: I love you. It is so simple: I love you. Lossing you has shattered my life, the son we never had, the new music we won't dance with, that we won't shiver with, the house with Toulouse Lautrec's paintings we will never live in... nothing matters my love... I am so lucky I met you, to have taken your hands and shared your dreams... You will never leave me.
Forever yours
Maritza
Etiquetas: Rolando Felix Armendariz
entrada de Maritzel a las
22:02
5 comentarios:
Hay muchas cosas que se me vienen a la cabeza cuando pienso en Rolando. Una de esas es esa habilidad que tenía para ponerte en la cara la visión de tu propia miseria. Lo que más escondías, ahí mismo te lo sacaba sin miramientos. Por eso había gente que no lo quería, porque no era condescendiente. Eso es una de las cosas que más aprecio en él: su honestidad y su franqueza. El y yo teníamos una visión muy distinta acerca de casi todo, y seguíamos siendo amigos. Aceptándonos tal y como eramos, porque sabíamos que podíamos contar el uno con el otro. Creo que en eso se basa la amistad finalmente. Él sabía ser amigo.
Que cuero se ve aqui mi maestro, a mi em lo platicaron con rulos..y creìa que no era el en esta foto.. que feliz.. y si era feliz y transmitìa esa felicidad.logro todo lo que se propuso!!!!. :)
Only the Good Die Young...- all those who died before their time-
siempre l o tendremos en la memoria, feliz, guapo (como a el le gustaba estar)..siempre sera asi.. siempre.. pero nos deja una profunda pena.. un hueco, un vacìo.. una tristeza,
todo un personajee nuestro maestro Rolando!!!! me siento afortunado de haber sido su estudiante aunque sea por un solo semestre y que apenas pase con 60 su materia!!
ROLANDO
You're...
My Friend,
my companion,
through good times and bad
my friend, my buddy,
through happy and sad,
beside me you stand,
beside me you walk,
you're there to listen,
you're there to talk,
with happiness, with smiles,
with pain and tears,
I know you'll be there,
throughout the years!
My brother’s Unforgettable Memory. I remember him coming back to Phoenix from Houston, always happy and ready to have fun. He was bright and wonderful person, intelligent, with special energy.. But why him? Why someone with such potential to the world and to those around him? It’s hard to fathom. You just don’t know… can’t understand. I’ll always have a place in my heart for him and that place will never be removed!!!
We will always miss him… Jesse, Michael and your “brother” Pio.
Dear Rolando,
I wanted to know what happened to you. So, I Googled your name. I was so happy to find that you had completed your doctorate and published articles!
Then I continued reading to find out that you left us early.
I want you to know that I am so proud of you!! I am so happy that you fulfilled your dream of getting a PhD. I expected to find you researching at a university somewhere in the world. It is such a surprise to find that you are gone. My heart is heavy. To know that the world is without your laughter is so sad. Thank you for being a wonderful student! I will miss you!
Megan
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